Four Common Attraction Patterns

When dating and relationship experiences become confusing, repetitive, or emotionally distressing, the root cause may sometimes be an unrecognized attraction pattern.

Over years of experience, I’ve found that there are actually four common recognizable attraction patterns that can help explain a wide variety of people’s most challenging experiences. Recognizing your pattern is easy to do—and can help you approach dating and relationships in a fundamentally different way.

Do Any Of These Patterns Sound Familiar?

Click on each one to learn more

1. THE SAVIOR PATTERN

Rescue Attraction

Quickly drawn toward people who seem wounded, emotionally overwhelmed, or in need of rescuing. May also manifest as a desire to be rescued or protected.

"This type of relationship will allow me to feel needed—and passionately connected."

2. THE MISSING PIECE PATTERN

Completion Attraction

Quickly drawn toward people who seem to possess qualities that feel like missing pieces of oneself.

"When I’m connected to these qualities, it almost feels like I have them myself."

3. THE PRIZE PATTERN

Validation Attraction

Quickly drawn toward people who seem extraordinary, widely admired, or just out of reach.

"If I could win someone as great as them, I'll feel finally feel special and chosen."

4. THE OTHER SIDE PATTERN

Self-Expansion Attraction

Quickly drawn toward people whose way of being feels unfamiliar, fascinating, or unexpectedly alive.

"If I’m connected to them, I’ll feel the kind of excitement that seems missing in my life."

Curious To Learn More?

These four patterns are just one way of attraction can become confusing. Throughout this website you’ll also find other articles exploring common questions about dating, relationships, attraction and identity.