Koby Frances, PhD
Many People Come to Therapy Wondering...
“Why am I attracted to unavailable people?”
“Why do I lose interest when someone likes me?”
“Why do my feelings change when a relationship becomes real?”
“What if my attractions don't fully match the life I want?”
“Why do certain fantasies feel so much stronger than real relationships?”
Are these the only attractions I’m capable of feeling?
Questions like these can be surprisingly difficult to make sense of—especially when the same dating and relationship patterns keep repeating themselves.
After working with hundreds of people in private practice, I've found that real clarity often begins when we start asking a different set of questions:
What makes us feel so drawn to certain types of people or situations?
What deeper needs or longings might they be tapping into?
Are these attractions pointing us toward the relationships that are actually best for us?
When we begin looking at attraction as a kind of mirror into ourselves, our perspective naturally begins to shift. Questions that once felt confusing or impossible to answer often start to make much more sense.
I've found that this perspective can fundamentally change the way people approach dating and relationships—and how they understand themselves.