questions you might be asking:
“Why am I so attracted to certain types of people?”
“Why do I lose interest once someone likes me?”
“Why does chemistry feel so powerful but disappear so quickly?”
What These Questions May Be Telling Us
Over two decades of clinical practice, I've repeatedly observed that attraction doesn't always develop in the same way.
Some attractions feel immediate, intense, and highly focused on particular traits or qualities. These attractions often tell us more about ourselves than about the quality of the relationship itself.
Others are sparked by personality, connection, compatibility, and genuine enjoyment of another person's company—and often deepen through familiarity, trust, affection, and shared experiences.
Understanding this distinction can change how we think about attraction, dating, and identity.
Koby Frances, PhD, NY